In another life
by KeyKnows
Summary: Saitama wonders what it would have been like to traverse the infinity of space, arrive here and find this.


_Hello~_

 _There's some bullshited facts about City Z but bear with me._

 _Thanks to 321liftoff for beting this!_

 _Hope you like it!_

* * *

In another life

It's a weird thing to have such a clear sky in City Z. The city has one of the lowest real estate prices, not only because of the alarming number of monsters sightings and attacks, but because City Z is, mostly, an industrial town. Most of these companies emigrated along with their citizens away from the center, establishing themselves closer to the surrouding cities, but the consequences of their production are still noticable in the enviromment of the city.

It's usual for the sky to be full of pollution, not heavy enough for the sky to be grey during the day, but at night there are few stars shining in the sky. So tonight's firmament is a rare sight.

Saitama is on the balcony, hands on the railing suppoorting his weight, and he's looking at the sky. It's late at night; when he got up it was about two in the morning but he's been here for some time, so he isn't sure of the time any more. Inside, Genos is sleeping, the whirring of his body audible even with the balcony door closed since in City Z all nights are terribly still.

The sound is calming, most of the time it's reassuring to know that Genos is there; to listen to the sound of his machinery working while the cyborg sleeps, dreams, is something that Saitama has become fond of: 'I'm here' the sound seems to say during his worst nights, 'You're not alone anymore'.

But he is, Saitama thinks stubbornly while looking at the stars, Saitama is as alone as _he_ was.

It's been weeks since his fight with Boros, but their encounter still plagues his mind. The details of the fight are clear in his memory, clear as few things are, and the implications of the outcome keep him awake at night, quite literally.

The night sky makes him wonder about Boros. For all his dislike of long, unnecessary talking, Saitama remembers what Boros said fairly well: about him being a conqueror, about his exceptional strength even among his exceptional species, about the prophecy he followed blindly, about the boredom that made him do so. It all resonates with Saitama in a strange way, because he understands it and it scares him for a lot of reasons.

Boros spent twenty years of his life looking for his perfect battle, looking for the enemy that would put him to the test, that would make his blood boil with the thrill of the fight once more: Saitama feels like he let him down.

It's a weird thought, he knows, but he can't help but wonder if their fight gave Boros what he really wanted: would Saitama himself be satisfied with such a fight, being in Boros' place? Something in the back of his head tells him the answer is no. When he fights he wants to experience the same turbulent emotions that used to wrap his heart some years ago. However he not only yearns for such sentiments to return, Saitama wants a fair fight: he wants his opponet to struggle too, he wants them to give their best, he wants them to have as much fun as he.

The only thing he felt while he was fighting Boros was utter disappointment (and slight surprise when he landed on the moon), because when he saw Boros withstand his punch he thought that maybe, he was finally going to experience all he longed to feel again.

Saitama can't know if Boros felt that way too, but the possibility, the uncertainty of it...

He shakes his head, trying to get away from such thoughts, hoping to clear his head, go back to bed and forget about all of this while he sleeps.

The thoughts do not abandon him, they pester him like a mosquito on a hot, summer night; they circle his head and make him ponder things he'd rather let alone in the back of his mind.

The blinking stars in the sky guide his train of thought as they used to guide sailors. Saitama said to Boros that one couldn't just go and conquer planets and wreak havoc to appease one's boredom, but Saitama wonders with dread if that did indeed alleviate some of Boros' tedium.

He hopes, earnestly, that the answer is no. The possibility has always been there, always within the reach of his all too powerful fists: every time he sees a villian and thinks 'that could've been me' the possibility is there because that could _still_ be him.

So, Saitama wonders, in this peaceful, intimate moment of the night, here in this deserted city, here where no one will judge, he wonders how it would be to...to just...

He lets out a frustrated groan and realizes he's pressing the railing with too much force. He swears while looking at the dents he has made and sighs. He passes one hand over his bald head, hoping the motion will sweep such ideas away.

It doesn't.

But, his mind insists, if such acts didn't actually alleviate Boros' tedium, if traveling across the universe did nothing to make him feel again, then...then what hope is left for Saitama to find the battle he longs for?

Boros found him, yes, and questions about the satisfaction of the fight aside, it took him twenty fucking years of space traveling to do so. Saitama doesn't have the option to embark himself on some space quest in search of a worthy opponent, one that may or may not be waiting for him in some distant galaxy.

He's stuck here and so far it seems like the earth will not provide a worthy opponent. So far it seems like he is, and always will be, standing at the top and utterly alone.

And here is when he really wishes he could stop, he doesn't want to go further down this train of thought, he doesn't want to fathom the idea, the chance that...

That he is and will be alone, but he _was not_.

Boros knew. If someone asked him to put the thought in actual words, that would be the only thing he could say: Boros knew. He knew what it was like, he knew how it felt, he would've understood Saitama in a way no one else could, and _all be damned_ , if he hadn't killed him...

He doesn't know what it could've been like if he didn't kill Boros. He can't know how things would have gone, he has no way to find out, but the possibilities...

Saitama sighs and looks at the sky, watches the distant stars and wonders if Boros was ever near any of them. He wonders what it had been like, to traverse the infinity of space, arrive here and find this.

He wonders if it felt a little like living here and having _this_.

* * *

 _I fucking love Boros, which is a strange thing to say considiring he isn't in this fic *shrugs*_

 _The second time I watched episode twelve, I was left with a feeling of sadness, because I think Saitama and Boros could've been friends and it hurt me to think about the impossibility of it. I mean I could write something that made it possible, but lets be real here, I seem unable to write happy stuff for this fandom._

 _Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!_


End file.
